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You are viewing the most recent 25 entries.
20th January 2006
12:22pm: I don't understand it
Manda is mad at me, And I don't know What I did. I was talking to Adam on the phone and he said he was talking to Manda. I asked Adam to ask Manda when she was going to talk to her mom if I could say I lived there to back into John A (cause Delta bites some hard-core ass, and then all the sudden, she sounds just like my mom. "I don't know why she's even trying she's not going to get back in, she's skipping too much", she kept saying it to him and he was telling me everything she was typing. I went online and started talking to her, i have the conversation saved on my computer: Me-" So what's this nonsence about you not wanting me to come back?" Manda-" I never said that jess, I just said it was higly unlikely" Me-"NO, you said that I wasn't going ot get back in, and you're doing the same thing that my mother does, dropping my hopes of getting out of hell" Manda-"Well If you want, I can still ask her..." Me-"No manda, I don't want your help anymore, obviously you don't want me to come back, that's fine" Manda-"I'm not saying that Jess, I just think you're chances are slim to none" Me-"Oh wow, thanks Manda, Okay, I don't care anymore, You're being a bitch right now, I'm going now" Manda-"You wanna know what? I'm tired day after day of your bitching to me about EVERYTHING and I'm just sick of it, so just fuck off, ya dumb cunt" Me-"fuck you and go die" Then she blocked me, more more then three seconds after she blocks me, She starts yelling at Adam, and saying how she doesn't want to talk to "you or that bitch of a girlfriend anymore" And blocks him too, yeah she's fucking nuts. THEN she comes back online and starts trying to in her own wierd way make it better. I told her:" No manda, I don't want to fucking hear it, first you make me feel like shit and then call me a cunt and THEN start yelling at Adam who had nothing do do with this? No fucking way, Go away and die now" So I went down to John A Yesterday, I went down to see if she was still mad and for me to sat sorry for telling her die etc, And then I see her look at me, turn to her friends for a second, and then they all look at me. I got the hint, thanks Manda. Anywho, I was there for like five minutes then Miss Wilkie Comes out of the school with a cop, tall fucker he was, Telling me how I'm not welcome on the school property and so on, ( I knew this already, But I love the school). The cop tells me how If he hears that I've been on school property, then he's going to come to my house, arrest me, and charge me for trespassing. But If I'm caught A) walking by the school B)Leaving School Property C) in the school or D) she hears from A student that I've been on the property, then I'm getting charged. The kicker is that I went down there to say sorry and I didn't really even do anything, she's telling people I called her the cunt and so on, That conversation up there was cutt and pasted only not cutt and pasted Becuase it wouldn't let me fore some reason. I thought I should post this for the fact that I needed to vent cause I eally see no reason for me to be getting into trouble, or why she's mad at me, if anyone has any fucking idea, please tell me, I'd love to know. I just want her to know that I'm fucking sorry for whatever I did, but I need to know that she's sorry too Because I hate the word cunt, and being called it, and by a best friend non the less, is fucking un-exceptable. Jess ♥
Current Mood: Pissed AND confused
Current Music: Torn soonest to the sea - Protest The Hero
11th December 2005
9:37pm:
SO, it's getting better. It doesn't hurt now, but the bruise on my leg is fucking NASTY, it's got every colour of the rainbow in there man, I shit you negative. My shiner has gotten darker, it looks like I got the shit kicked out of me. If someone says that it looks like I got into a fight I'll simply say, "yeah, well you should see what happened to that fucker". I hung out with Manda and Dave today, It was fun but it's flippin' cold up the mountain man, AT least like 5 degrees colder up there. Me and Adam spent the most of the weekend together, I say I had an all together fun weekend *hands up and shake it BITCH*
Current Mood:  good
Current Music: Romantic Rights- Death From Above 1979
10th December 2005
2:49pm:
Mine and Adam's Six Month Anniversary! I'm so happy! teehee!
Current Mood:  bouncy
Current Music: Crystal being wierd *girl girl girl*
12:03pm:
Two days since I fell on the tracks like a retard, AndI still hurt. My nose doesn't hrut anymore, but I'm pretty sure I suffered some sort of fucked up brain-damage thing. I was trying to play cards and I felt like an idiot. My left lef has a HUGE bruise on the knee cap, the right knee cap has one too but not so bad. M6y right eye is bruised, and my nose is swollen, but at least it's not pounding with pain, right? I'm going to go now, write tomorrow on the developing storey of my shnoz, Jessi. (ps) sorry if there's any spelling or grammer errors, I'm not too smart right now. Poo.
Current Mood:  sore
Current Music: Clocks-Coldplay
8th December 2005
4:37pm: I'm a fucking clumsy bitch
I can't believe this, I'm fucking stupid. I went to visit my Godmother who's under Kemo right now. When I was leaving, I was walking over the tracks, and what do I do? Fall on my FACE, smash my face off of the ground and hit my head on the fucking MEtal thing on the tracks. NEedless to say I hurt, A LOT. I thought my nose was broken, it was bleeding so much, and I Yelled for my sister (she left after I did) and I yelled like three times before I saw her Comming. She ran and she saw I was bleeding, she thought I gashed my head open on one of the big nails. She took off her sock and I had to use it as a fucking kleenex. We got into Centre mall, wer'e cutting through to go to the bus stop, And who do we run into? fucking MS.VISCA, my Princable from Delta, "Why aren't you guys in school?" "you just Suspended me"-Nicky, "remember?" She completely changes the subject to me now "wow, what happened to you?" "I fell" "It's all swollen, you should get it looked at" *walks away*. I didn't know she was who she was or I would've said a few more things. I got home and it hurt liek a bitch, It still hurts. And now I can't talk to my boyfriend on the phone because some bitch annoied her best friends' boyfriend so much that he hung up on them (best friend being Adam's sister). Like I finally get where everyone calls her annoying, I get it now. I'll write tomorrow and tell you how the nose thing turned out. I'll tell you one thing, those tracks will always have a memory of me on 'em.
Current Mood:  angry
Current Music: Straight Reads The Line-Tony Danza ft.Dallas Green
4th December 2005
11:57pm: I'm so fucking happy right now
It might be the drugs, but i'm so happy. Johnathan and me are going to start hanging out like we did in the olden days, Before Gracie got a hold of him. I'm so excited, I haven't seen him in forever. He's giong to call my house tomorrow, He remembered my phone number, oh jeez. But when we were friends, we were together all of the time, and Now I have Manda And Adam, But right now I can't wait to talk to him tomorrow (well today I guess). I'm too high to sleep, I'll listen to some cool tunes, then hit the hay kids. Love you all for wasting time to read this thing. Lol.
Current Mood:  relaxed
Current Music: Last firstborn-celldweller {Techno}
30th November 2005
7:42pm:
I went to the Wake thing today, it was horrible. I don't know how I did it without crying unil I got in the car, but I did. Chrissy didn't really cry, she teared, but didn't cry. My aunt pat seems to have lost part of her voice, it's all chalky and shit. All of the picture's of him were everywhere. It was just sad. I'm going to John A after the funeral tomorrow, I'm going ot be so puffy eyed and crap, Cause I'm going to ball tomorrow. If Chrissy has to say anything like a speech, I'm going to loose it. She seems to be doing really fucking well concidering the man she loved just died. If that happened to Adam, I Wouldn't stop crying, it's just the way I am. But she's "a Steele Woman" the family says, she's extra tough. I get home, And all of my friendsk now that I'm going ot see my cousin thing today, and eric get's on msn, and insted of even askng me What happend or anything (he's supposed to be my best guy friend) He starts bitching about how he was going to beat the shit out of one of his ex boyfriends, I fucking told him where to go and how to fucking get there too. I'll write tomorrow after everything, good bye.
Current Mood:  listless
29th November 2005
8:18pm:
So the Wake for the family only is tomorrow, my mom took me to get some clothes for it cause have NOTHING for it. Sure, I have dark clothes, c'mon it me, but nothing without writing on it or swearing all over it. I don't know what I'm going to do tomorrow, it's going to be hard. The day after that is going to be the actual thing but he's being cremated and I've never been to anything like that. I need smokes for this, I have none and I need some bad. I'm going to be smoking like a Chimney after this. I'm going right after school tomorrow, which means I have to bring my clothes for it to school or I have to wear them and risk getting them dirty. I don't like this kind of stuff. The one on the next day begins at like 11 in the morning, and I'm going to need drugs after that one, Adam got suspended so maybe if I have time I could go down to his house before his parents get home and sit with him and just cry. I hope My cousin Chrissy is doing good (as good as she can be doing at a time like this), they think that all of the stress she's under now is going to force her into early labour. This is going to be a few very emotional days. I'll write tomorrow after everything and After I smoke like half a pack of smokes. (ps) I can't spell, whatever, I know, sheesh
Current Mood: high
Current Music: The Last Firstborn - Celldweller
28th November 2005
6:53pm: Death in the Family
I don't really know what to think, obviously sadness, but I haven't cried. I don't know what's wrong with me. Am I so twisted that I don't Have emotion? don't know what the fuck is wrong with my head. I'm fucked in the head, that's all. And my mom is being a complete bitch to me right now, She's in a mood too. You think some people would be nicer when someone they love die, she turned into a fucking pitchpig. Family sucks, really bad.
Current Mood: cranky
26th November 2005
11:46pm:
So yeah.... Family problems. How can someone who's 33, just die, without notice>?< I don't get it. My cousin died, and they don't know what happened. Is it just me or is that fucked up? I don't get it....
Current Mood: listless
Current Music: Down with the sickness - Disturbed
24th November 2005
4:08pm:
I fucking hate snow, Can't you just be rain? I like rain A lot more then snow. SNow means cold, which meand no more skirts, which is Depressing.
Current Mood: blah
Current Music: Duality - system of a down
23rd November 2005
5:41pm:
Depressed in lost in her thoughts, she doesn't know what to do Doesn't understand what happened, no one to talk to that really gets it something happened, but no clue what lost with no answers
Current Mood: sad
Current Music: snowpatrol-run
22nd November 2005
11:42pm: I'm done with them all
Okay, I don't know what it is with guys these days, but if their going to cheat on someone, they could at least make it more sly. lIKE WHERE THE FUCK DOES HE GET OFF? He calls this chick becky more then he calls me, and it fucking blows my mind. Whoever she is, I know he won't take it as flirting, but to any girls mind, it's fucking flirting. I talkd to him about it before, and he said it was nothing and he'd NEVER cheat on me, and actually got upset cause "I thought of it". But if you people were to read some of the shit she says to him, you'd understand completely from where i'm getting the whole 'cheating" thing from. She writes things like "wuv you" and stupid cunty things like that, but they crawl under my skin like no end. One of the pictures he has of me and She's like "aww you have a gf?" blah blah blah " she's lucky" blah blah blah "all of the good men are gone". who the fuck is she and where does she live so I can egg the shit out of her house? He says in all of the entries and shit that he's taken, and yet, still with the "wuv"s and all of the other stupid shit. He talks about caling her in them, he calls her more then he calls me, what the fuck man? I don't even care anymore... I just needed somewhere to vent, And I got it. Men are scum, most should die, the ones that shouldn't are gay, or Bam Margera (the rest can rot and hell). Other then that, the week was goign fine. Thanks for listening. (ps) sorry if there's mistakes, i'm not in the mood for fixing them
Current Mood: disappointed
Current Music: The Outsider-A Perfect Circle
20th November 2005
11:20am: FUCKING dicks
So i'm not in the best of moods right now. Where do guys think they have the right to fuck with womens brains? Not adam, but This kid named Jeremy, I fucking hate him right now.What gives him the right to call me, My best friend, and Adam names and think that it's not going to bother me? I don't comprehend this whole thing. He sits there, with his big ego, on the other side of the computer (lucky he was on the computer talking t me or he'd be ded or bleeding from his ears) and making fun of everyone that means something to me. FUCKiNG MEN*ggrrrr* I'm sick of men, Maybe I should go lezbo and rid them from my life. Joking of course but like it would be so much easier without them. I'm done for now, write again later. Jessie
Current Mood: pissed off
Current Music: FREAK OUT!"le freak, so sheek"
21st October 2005
10:45am: HOLY SHIZZZIT!
I keep forgeting that I have one of these things, But now that I have my school login, I'l be writing lot more. Not much shit has happened, but at the same time something really bad has happened. My boyfriend is moving to Alberta, And I live in Ontario, so that's far. But he's not moving there until next summer so I guess it's fine, something could happen in betwwen that time and now so I'm thinking Positavo. I have to go to Delta insted of my lovely old school SJAM, but I guess that's what happens when you don't go to class, I brought it on myself. I'll write again soon, buh bye SUCKAH!
Current Mood: chipper
Current Music: idiots yelling
4th September 2005
10:41pm: Why? Oh why??
Okay, so i haven't written in a while, but i'm dumb and forget about these things. THe system of a down Concert was yesterday, them being one of my favourite bands, I 'm thinking of ways to get money for a ticket, I don't care if go by myself, with others, meet people there, I can't care I just really wanted to be in there. I did everything I could to get a fucking ticket, I couldn't get my hands on some cash. The only money I got was for school shit and there was no way getting around that one. The day of the concert is getting closer and closer and closer and I'm just getting sadder. But then what happens??? My best friend Eric calls me and tells me that he bought two tickets and that If his girlfriend couldn't go or chickened out I'd be the one going with him, so I didn't want to get my hopes up cause I had a feeling that It wasn't goign to happen for me, but I got excited anyways. I called him yesterday and he said to call him at 5 to see if i'm going or not, to time got closer, I was getting so happy. I called there and not only is she going with him, but two other people I know ( my friend Rob and his brother) were going too! As far as I know, Eric was the only one who remotely knew any songs from them or knew the littlest thing bout them. So I guess they go, and I'm sitting at my boyfriends knowing "their over there having the best time ever, And i'm here" Don't get me wrong, I love Adam to death and spending time with him is fun, but I'd much rather be going to that fucking concert. I don't think they understand how much it bothered me that he'd just... like he'd take his girlfriend over his best friend. Like I know their dating and all, but I'd take one of my best friends if I was ever in a sticky pickle like that one, but knowing me I'd buy more than two tickets and jus thave them pay me back whatever they can later, but hey! what do I know! I'm the insensative jerk and everyone has seemed to put a negative target on my back. Thanks guys, really, Maybe I really do need to go to a different school. I'm not saying this stuff to be mean, but if their reading this then it's their own fault for being nosey, And I have no remote bad feeling for saying any of this.
Current Mood: ~assholes~
Current Music: Dark of the Matinée - FranZ Ferdinand
26th July 2005
10:43pm: hey there kids!
Oh man oh man, I was reading the old ones of my journal talking about how Adam didn't like me and so on, he made me wait for him to ask me out for about a month or so. We've been going out for a month and six-teen days now:D. I didn't really have anyhting else to say, I think i'm going to go to bed now, crawl into bed beside my boyfriend. G'night all.
Current Mood:  tired
Current Music: My boyfriend snoring
23rd May 2005
6:10pm:
Jeebs, this thing get's forgotten so much that it's sad. Well, not much has happened since then so..... meh. Same old shit just in a different colour. I've broken up with good ol' Dave finally and I really like this kid named Adam but he's either dumb or he doesn't like me. My hair isn't pink anymore(tears:-( ) But it's black and it's smoother then a babies anus. My computer is too slow to check this thing all of the time so I only write on this thing when I A) Remember and B) At a friends house. I'll try and write if I remember tomorrow, keep you all updated on my poor poor life, peace OUT!
Current Mood: restless
Current Music: My step brothers' snoring
16th February 2005
5:27pm:
I always forget to write on this thing, It's not right o top of the list with me right now. I've been spending a lot of time with Gracie right now and it's awesome fun. I'd never thought that I would do As much ghanja as I do now, But I still don't do it out of control, I never will. I'll never become my sister. I must be going now, I must check on the kids that I'm babysitting, I'll try and remember to write, bye.
Current Mood: amused
Current Music: Kids running around upstairs
10th November 2004
2:51pm:
I don't have long to wrte, but I'm in school right now. My new highschool. Sir John A Isn't as bad as people say it is. I don't know Why, But I think I'm going to stay here, I wanted to switch to Delta, but it's dirty and it sucks big hairy ass. I just did this French assignment thing, it was horrible, I hate french so much that I could die A happy person if I never had to be forced to speak french again. I'm going to walk to the bus with Gracie later, It's usually funny, we say hi to random people And She talks to people that she thinks are goodlooking, I find that quite amusing.
Current Mood: happy
Current Music: teacher talking
4th November 2004
7:09pm: All hallows eve! MUAHAHA!
I haven't posted in the longest time so I'll just write some old news, Not like anyone reads this anyways. I had a lot of fun trick or treating, My friend James < who is 14 as well, went out as superman with a costume that he had bought for like five dollars. And me and My friend Emily went out as some sort sort of eighties shit and The Brittany was just Brittany, We had a lot of fun. And then I got home and the corner appartment was on fire and we couldn't see anything so I thought it was my house So we ran for our lives down the street. It was the crackhouse on the corner. We got cuaght in my house and were kicked out because of the "toxic fumes" or something like that, and it was FREEZING OUTSIDE.That's what my life is like for the longest time, I'll report when my life get's a bit more interesting.
Current Mood:  cold
Current Music: The sound of jmes eating pringles, and the used.
7th October 2004
5:46pm:
Today was good, I'm coming around on the french thing. I still hate it, but it's juts laugh after laugh in that room. It's like a never ending hurting pain in the stomache, ANd I love it so. And then I find out that one of the people in my class overheard The girl gym teachers talking, and Ms. Miscovic is pregnant, might explain the whole bitchy thing. And Tonight is supposed ot be some parent eacher thing, And I told my mom about it even though I didn't want her to go, But I felt obligated to, she didn't want to go anyways. And then After school, When the bus finally came, Me and Brittany got on. And oh sweet jesus, THere was this kid on the bus that was the most beautiful thing in the world, Nothing is prettier. And he caught me and Brittany staring at least five times each, but It was okay, He was quite a looker to get caught staring at!!And then He went to get off at the same bus stop as Brittany, And she said, "fucking hell, he's going to think I'm stalking him or something!!". And sure enough, when He got off of the bus, he ran like he was about to be stabbed. It was the best day on the bus ever, it was worth the wait. All in all, it was a good day.
Current Mood: happy
Current Music: The ziggens
5th October 2004
7:09pm:
Are crush's supposed to be short little things? Because I've liked this kid named Jonathan for the longest time and He sent me an email saying some things like How he wanted to test out my lip ring, And that had always been a little joke between us, And then He sent Me one back saying how He said that he wasn't joking. I sent him another one saying that I knew that he knew how I felt, And I really wanted to know how He felt And then he sent me an email back saying that he really didn't know how he felt right now. What does that mean? I don't get it, Oh well. And at my high school, there is this kid named Eric, And he's in grade ten. He's one of the little group of people who I managed to find in the school, And I like him too. I'm hanging out with one of his friends named Gracie, We sit together in french. I can't wait until tomorrow. I was supposed to go to the skate park with Her today And one of her friends but I had to go to my old school to bring them The rocket I built from school( none lightable of course). Absolutle gorgeous he is, WHOA! I gotta go, But i'll write tomorrow. chuce!_!
Current Mood: excited
Current Music: The hives- walk idiot walk
2nd October 2004
7:23pm:
I was WAtching my sister talk to people here today, About how her boyfiend is, " such a saskuatch". ThenI get to thinking, How the hell does she get the right to call someone names? I don't see anyone lining up to date her, Most of her guy friends know how much of a bitch she can be. I just don't get it, What the hell is so special about somone like her? why Is she so upsested with him? I'm really confused about this, I don't get it, She's just a girl. Then I started thinking, why CAN'T I get someone? This kid at my school likes me, But I just don't like him, He just keeps on talking, never stops with the talking. I guess that might just be a little hipocritical, But I can't help it. She said the whole thing about it is that she Still likes him, But she just doesn't want to go out with him anymore. She says that he's stalking her, The only time I see him is when he's with her, Or when he calls( which is hardly ever). Then I think, yet again, Why doesn't the guy That I like And I think likes me call me more? How come I do all of the calling? Someone please give me some sort of adivce, I need it so badly. And If possible, SOmeone Give me some advice for the other one, She needs it just as much.I bet the fact that it's cold in my house doesn't help me much. Oh my god, I forgot, I thinking of dying my hair some colour, either I can dye it black or can Save up my money and get some CRAZY dye and do my hair pink again or Try blue, pass out the info.
Current Mood:  anxious
Current Music: The writing on the wall- The tea party
4:03pm:
Okay, I've realized that i'm not very interesting, And I don't post on here enough. So, s of now( even though I say this all of the time) I'm going to started posting things on here mopre often. Lately, I've been different, Like the people i've been meeting are different then the people I usually talk to. I usually talk to people that are (moderatly) normal, But the people that I hang with at Sir John A aren't anywhere near normal. I found the first person who wore something different and I started talking to them. I looked for skate shoes or I talked to people who I sit beside in classes and Meet their friends. I like my school and all, And I know that thinking these things aren't good, But I'm really not liking the whole amount of people that are different. They have their own group of people and their own table in the Cafeteria, BUt I find that I don't want to sit with them, I'm trying to fit in at this school. I want to go to a school where I don't need to avoid sitting with people and everyone is kinda different. There are so many different groups of cultures, religeons and so on and I like that a lot But I guess I'm just being stupid. I Want to switch to Delta or Westdale or something like one of those schools cause everyone is crazy.It may be strange to feel this way But I can't really help it. And I've probably said the same things over and over but oh well, I don't have a good memory for things like that.
Current Mood: uncomfortable
Current Music: we're all to blame- Sum 41!
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